We win 50-0!

At last someone is reporting truthfully my country in the world cup:
http://www.iwial.co.uk/?p=1033

The world will see again in 2012 olympics when our Dear Leader will win Gold in every event, even if he has to do a lot of them at same time.

Friday 20th March 12:30pm – Little Chef

Journey to Dorset is not so arduous and so far we have not been stopped at any checkpoints. But it is quiet in back of car with Emily; I just look out of window.

We grow hungry and Karen says we should look out for a “Little Chef”. I never knew that your United Kingdom has reputation for good Chef’s being little – “is this because Midgets not work in Circus anymore”? I asked, they found this funny and laughed and Emily looked me in eye then and touched her hand on my shoulder, it was nice.

We then stopped at little eating house actually called “Little Chef”! I saw the chef cooking behind griddle though and he is not so little, he is taller than me! They should change their name I think, but I suppose “average height Chef” is not so catchy name, maybe he is smallest in family of Chef’s and has taller brothers? This is probably why called “Little Chef”.

I eat as much as I can to build up my strength, I realise this could be last time I eat plentiful food for whole weekend, we will probably only have corn and rice to eat in camp I guess.

Friday 20th March 10:30am – We go to camp

I am not sleeping last night; I’m not sure if it is because of seeing the Emily again tomorrow or because I am afraid of work camp. Camp must be better than the one’s we had at home though, things are less strict here in England.

We go to “Sunny Bay Holiday Camp” in Dorset, it has nice name – most our camps at home just had numbers.

Jason laughed at my shovel and bucket, I thought because he had much better ones – however his bucket and spade are just little plastic ones – maybe they not have to work so hard because they are more favoured by leader as they have served here longer than I?

Karen tells me there’s not enough room, and insisted I leave equipment behind, but I was too scared to do this, they tell me I not need them. I assume they probably have good shovels and spades at camp, so I left my shovel behind and just took pick-axe and bucket. I had to travel with pick-axe on my lap in car.

Jason asked if I was planning to dig a tunnel and escape to Devon, I begged him not to joke and told him I would never do this! I wonder if Devon is more free state than Dorset? Maybe leader should send some tanks in; they have a lot of them in Dorset I hear.

He was whistling a catchy tune and I joined in and asked what it is; first time Emily spoke to me, although she not look me in eye – which I am Ok with because I do not like eye-contact with anyone, she told me it’s the “theme from the great escape”. I stopped whistling Jason’s subversive tune and started to hum national anthem instead until they tell me to “change the tune” so I thought of only other national tune I know and hummed the “match of the day” overture.

Thursday 19th March – We go on the holiday to work

Tomorrow we go on the holiday to province of Dorset. Karen says we don’t even need permission to travel here? We are just allowed to go; I am nervous about this.

I packed my provisions in small rucksack: a map; some food; identity papers and a small framed photo of leader Gordon Brown.

Karen tells me not to forget my bucket and spade as we are going to sea-side, I see now: we don’t need papers for travel because this is working holiday? We must be going to work. I went to the B and Q and bought myself nice big shovel, a pick-axe and a nice orange plastic bucket - it only 99 pennies and the handle is a bit flimsy but I hope they will have sturdy iron ones on the Dorset work-camp.

Karen is going with Jason and tells me Emily is definitely coming and I should not be so shy with her – it will be fine. As we are going to be working together – digging or mining, not sure exactly what work is yet, I suppose we will have to get on.

This evening I am eating good meal with lots of carbohydrates, I will need to be strong for work, I am not wanting re-education.

Friday 13th March - Dear Leader is bringing moon to my country!

It is so exciting!
My Dear Leader is bringing moon to my home-land of North-Korea! Jason tells me is true and showed me the video below.

I am so excited, I want to return home immediatly and walk on moon, but Karen tells me I should wait a while and not get too excited, and that I shouldn't believe everything I read on Internet.


Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Friday 27th February – Hello?

I have not seen the Emily for nearly the 2 weeks now.

Karen says she still likes me; but I think she doesn’t.

Karen is planning a holiday at her dead Aunties caravan in province of Dorset, it is big caravan made out of metal – she say it has 2 bedrooms and a pull out bed in lounge area. She is going with Jason, and she says Emily is going too, and that I can have the lounge to myself.

I’m not sure if I should go?

Now that the Emily is out of my life I have no more Cure music, Jason says the Lionel Richie is the strongest influence on the Cure – I love his music! But I think it would be better if Robert the Smith (of The Cure) sings it.

Monday 16th February – Boys don’t cry!

The Emily she doesn’t want to see me again!

She says I not good on the date and that I am boring person who not want the good time.

My heart feels like the stone.