Friday 20th March 12:30pm – Little Chef

Journey to Dorset is not so arduous and so far we have not been stopped at any checkpoints. But it is quiet in back of car with Emily; I just look out of window.

We grow hungry and Karen says we should look out for a “Little Chef”. I never knew that your United Kingdom has reputation for good Chef’s being little – “is this because Midgets not work in Circus anymore”? I asked, they found this funny and laughed and Emily looked me in eye then and touched her hand on my shoulder, it was nice.

We then stopped at little eating house actually called “Little Chef”! I saw the chef cooking behind griddle though and he is not so little, he is taller than me! They should change their name I think, but I suppose “average height Chef” is not so catchy name, maybe he is smallest in family of Chef’s and has taller brothers? This is probably why called “Little Chef”.

I eat as much as I can to build up my strength, I realise this could be last time I eat plentiful food for whole weekend, we will probably only have corn and rice to eat in camp I guess.

Friday 20th March 10:30am – We go to camp

I am not sleeping last night; I’m not sure if it is because of seeing the Emily again tomorrow or because I am afraid of work camp. Camp must be better than the one’s we had at home though, things are less strict here in England.

We go to “Sunny Bay Holiday Camp” in Dorset, it has nice name – most our camps at home just had numbers.

Jason laughed at my shovel and bucket, I thought because he had much better ones – however his bucket and spade are just little plastic ones – maybe they not have to work so hard because they are more favoured by leader as they have served here longer than I?

Karen tells me there’s not enough room, and insisted I leave equipment behind, but I was too scared to do this, they tell me I not need them. I assume they probably have good shovels and spades at camp, so I left my shovel behind and just took pick-axe and bucket. I had to travel with pick-axe on my lap in car.

Jason asked if I was planning to dig a tunnel and escape to Devon, I begged him not to joke and told him I would never do this! I wonder if Devon is more free state than Dorset? Maybe leader should send some tanks in; they have a lot of them in Dorset I hear.

He was whistling a catchy tune and I joined in and asked what it is; first time Emily spoke to me, although she not look me in eye – which I am Ok with because I do not like eye-contact with anyone, she told me it’s the “theme from the great escape”. I stopped whistling Jason’s subversive tune and started to hum national anthem instead until they tell me to “change the tune” so I thought of only other national tune I know and hummed the “match of the day” overture.

Thursday 19th March – We go on the holiday to work

Tomorrow we go on the holiday to province of Dorset. Karen says we don’t even need permission to travel here? We are just allowed to go; I am nervous about this.

I packed my provisions in small rucksack: a map; some food; identity papers and a small framed photo of leader Gordon Brown.

Karen tells me not to forget my bucket and spade as we are going to sea-side, I see now: we don’t need papers for travel because this is working holiday? We must be going to work. I went to the B and Q and bought myself nice big shovel, a pick-axe and a nice orange plastic bucket - it only 99 pennies and the handle is a bit flimsy but I hope they will have sturdy iron ones on the Dorset work-camp.

Karen is going with Jason and tells me Emily is definitely coming and I should not be so shy with her – it will be fine. As we are going to be working together – digging or mining, not sure exactly what work is yet, I suppose we will have to get on.

This evening I am eating good meal with lots of carbohydrates, I will need to be strong for work, I am not wanting re-education.

Friday 13th March - Dear Leader is bringing moon to my country!

It is so exciting!
My Dear Leader is bringing moon to my home-land of North-Korea! Jason tells me is true and showed me the video below.

I am so excited, I want to return home immediatly and walk on moon, but Karen tells me I should wait a while and not get too excited, and that I shouldn't believe everything I read on Internet.


Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Friday 27th February – Hello?

I have not seen the Emily for nearly the 2 weeks now.

Karen says she still likes me; but I think she doesn’t.

Karen is planning a holiday at her dead Aunties caravan in province of Dorset, it is big caravan made out of metal – she say it has 2 bedrooms and a pull out bed in lounge area. She is going with Jason, and she says Emily is going too, and that I can have the lounge to myself.

I’m not sure if I should go?

Now that the Emily is out of my life I have no more Cure music, Jason says the Lionel Richie is the strongest influence on the Cure – I love his music! But I think it would be better if Robert the Smith (of The Cure) sings it.

Monday 16th February – Boys don’t cry!

The Emily she doesn’t want to see me again!

She says I not good on the date and that I am boring person who not want the good time.

My heart feels like the stone.

Saturday 14th February – The Valentines day

I have learned recently to use the word “the” more; apparently it is the definite article and I need to use it more, like “The cat is on the red mat” and not “cat is on red mat”.

I shall now say what happened on the date on the Valentines Day, I took the Emily out after Karen tell me I have to because she say it is the law in this country.

I forget the Emily has no family – to make the introduction; I remember her brother works in a quarry because she tells me he is a stoner, but she rarely see’s him unless he wants the money – I don’t think the stoning is so well paid here.

So tonight we have the “hot” date; they say – but it was quite cold as it always is at this time of year.

I give Emily the Flower; I tried to find the yellow Carnations like I gave to the glorious leader, but all I could find were the red Roses.

We eat at the Wagamama, it didn’t go very well. We had to wait for the table, and then the table only had the chopsticks – not the spoon! - so I ask for the spoon and they give me the little babies spoon (the Tea-spoon). I was displeased and I let it be known.

We weren’t there very long, after the meal Emily suggested we go for the drink. But it was late and there were lots of people, and I wasn’t thirsty.

I made sure she got home safely, when she got to the door she asked me in but I had to say no (with the courtesy). I said the goodnight and she still didn’t go inside, she asked if there was something I wanted to do, something I should do on the end of a date? So I said goodnight again; bowed deeply and then ran home, I heard her shout “goodnight Charlie thanks for a wonderful evening” as I rounded the corner at the end of the street.

I remember now, as I have watched the movies, I was supposed to give her the little kiss? I couldn’t do this. But I think the date went well, it was quick, we were only out for about one hour, and most of that was spent in the Queue at the Wagamama.

I look forward to seeing the Emily again; I feel she is close to me - like The Cure in the wardrobe in the song, only without the Octopus playing the Saxophone.

Wednesday 11th February – a date

Tonight; Emily asked me out on date for “Valentines”, I don’t know what that is but it seems like your Christmas but more red, and with more flowers?

I am ashamed; I told her that she is very rude. Our families have not even been introduced; she should not be so forward.

She was upset and left; I was too angry? Was I too outraged?
I feel bad, I have no family here to make introduction, maybe if she’d asked her family to introduce us? I don’t understand.

I listened to the Cure, this song, and I feel bad:

Thursday 5th February – Hey Man!

Hey man! Whas-up?

Karen explains to me what Jason means when he says “man”, and now I am talking “street”. The last few days I am calling everyone “man” like: “Hey man!” and “Whas-up man”. I think I am fitting in and learning proper English now.

Of course I call every lady I meet “woman”; I’m not stupid, “Hey woman!” I say, but they don’t seem to like that as much. Emily thought it was funny and explains to me that I should just say “man” and probably not even that, but I don’t think I should call a woman a man? I like the way Emily laughs, she laughs with her eyes first. I’m not used to laughing; people do it a lot more here but I don’t see what’s so funny.

Jason taught me more street, he told me to tell everyone that I am dickhead as this means I don’t speak very good English. I checked with Karen and she said that Jason’s an idiot and that I shouldn’t listen to his advice.

I see now, as I know what an idiot is, Jason isn’t very smart and can’t speak very good English, he was wrong about calling myself dickhead, and is wrong about a lot of things. He is a bit slow. I told Emily this and she laughed again, she said I shouldn’t tell Jason that but agreed that he is a stupid man and that Karen deserves better.

Monday 2nd February – Snow!

It snowed today! I was very surprised how excited everyone was, we have snow like this a lot in Korea. It was even on the news here, but I didn’t see leader Gordon Brown on the news at all.

Karen and Emily came round and threw snow at me when I opened door, I thought this was very rude and shut door. They told me not to be “spoil sport”, so I get bucket of water and throw it over them, and they didn’t think this was so funny! Apparently I went “too far” - but I only stepped out of front door. I think they were upset, but water isn’t as cold as snow they threw on me? I don’t understand.

Emily lent me more Cure music and some films, but since Team America I don’t want to watch anymore films.

Jason wasn’t happy that I burned his Team America DVD, he said I should get a “sense of humour man”, but isn’t “sense of humour man” a clown, I don’t know where to get them?


I didn’t watch much of “Team America: World Police”, as soon as I see Dear Leader as a puppet I turned it off. I am surprised grown man like Jason likes puppet shows, although Karen often tells me he’s childish. It’s his birthday soon; maybe I should buy him a puppet; or a Muppet? I don’t know the difference, but Emily says he acts like a Muppet and I think they are a kind of puppet.

I like Emily, she took the time to learn some of my language, “An nyoung” she greeted me, she didn’t say it right but she tried honorably. Jason always say she looks like the Grim-Reaper, I don’t know who she is but she must be pretty to look like Emily.

Friday 23rd January…Team America

Jason lent me a film: “Team America: World Police”, I watched it today.

Tuesday 20th January…Apology

I am so sorry, and I am deeply humbled. Yesterday I let my newly found love of “The Cure” cloud my judgement. I compared them to Great Leader Kim Il-Sung, I only said I love them almost as much, this is not good enough, I am deeply sorry. I cry, they are nothing to him of course, he is the great leader!

I observe that you do not recognise him as such here, but I am not surprised, neither do you recognise your great leader Mr Winston Churchill. You do not respect dear leaders like Dame Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair or Gordon Brown!

Please - Who are “Ant and Dec”?

Monday 19th January…The Cure

I love the Cure! Almost as much as I love Great Leader Kim Il-Sung!

I have never heard music like this; “In Between Days” is my favourite, I had to listen to it in the dark as Emily suggested, and now I really get it. “Close to Me” is also very good, but “Push” is my favourite, here it is:

Saturday 17th January…a correction

I must point out that this blogs name “A North Korean in London” is inaccurate, I apologise. I am from the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK).

Although, geographically, it is in the North of my great country, that was founded by the legendary Dan-Gun in 2333 B.C.

I am listening to "The Cure", I like them.

Friday 16th January....music

I am trying to learn about your music, I have heard of the Beatles and Elvis, although I think the Beatles might be American like the Monkees; “Daydream Believer” rocks doesn’t it?

Karen’s boyfriend Jason tells me to forget about that “shit”, and listen to the greatest rock song Britain has given to the world, which he says is even better than the “Birdie song” although I haven’t heard that. Jason says the greatest song Britain has given to the world is called “Fan Dabi Dozi” and it is by legendary group “The Krankies” who he said rocked Glastonbury and were the greatest influence on Karen’s friend Emily’s favourite band “The Cure”, apparently the Krankies defined the “Gothic” genre.

It is here:

It is “catchy” (that’s a new phrase I’ve learned), but I think the Beatles might be better? Sorry, I don’t want to offend anyone, but I think the Beatles are better than the Krankies, although I haven’t heard much by the latter.

Emily said Jason is a “twat” (I don’t know what that is) and that I should listen to “the Cure”, Emily is very pale and her eyes are very dark, she reminds me of a giant Bear-Cat (I think you call Panda?), she is lending me “head on the door” album which she says I should listen to in the dark as it might help me sleep. I will let you know what I think of it.

Tuesday 13th January....Leaders

I apologise, I never introduced myself. My name is Ri Chin-Hwa; Ri is my surname, it is often called Rhee or Lee in the South of my country of birth. Here in your United Kingdom Chin-Hwa is an awkward first name, so they call me Charlie, or Chaz, or sometimes “Chink”.

Karen my guide - she translates my entries; for which I thank and acknowledge her, she is a good friend. She tells me that “Chink” might be racist, but I actually quite like the nickname.

When I arrived here in UK, I was surprised to not have to pay my respects to your leader. I learned what I could; I thought there would be a giant statue of your great leader Winston Churchill, in bronze or gold and that I should pay my respects. I eventually found a statue of him in your Parliament Square, nobody directed me there; I had to find it myself.

I had to leave a tribute so I tried to buy flowers but my English is not good, eventually I succeeded in buying a small bunch of yellow flowers called Carnations. I laid them at the statues base and bowed deeply, then took 3 steps back and bowed deeply again.

I couldn’t believe I was the only one doing this - many people walked by without stopping to pay their respects, I wonder why.

Some young people shouted something at the statue: “'oi! W-a-n-k-e-r”. I thought it was a salutation to the dear great leader Mr Churchill and was pleased that they at least were paying their respects, so I raised myself from my bow and raised my arms as they did and in my best English repeated “'oi! Wanker”. I repeated the phrase as I walked backwards with head bowed across the square.

Karen has since told me that “wanker” is an insult, and that they were probably shouting it at me and not Mr Churchill. I am glad they were not directing it at your great leader, but I don’t understand why they would call me such names.

I have not seen any pictures or statues of your dear leader Mr Gordon Brown yet, I tried to buy framed picture of him to hang on my wall, but nobody is selling them, I thought maybe they are sold out? Instead I bought poster of Cristiano Ronaldo as he seems popular, I have since found out he is not even English! It is very different here, and confusing, I have much to learn I think.

Saturday 10th January....bright new world

It’s so bright here; at night I mean, there’s so much light and noise and colour.

I only visited my countries capital city, Pyongyang, once; my family weren’t influential enough to see it more than that.

There’s more noise and light in London by night as there was in Pyongyang by day. In Pyongyang the nights are dark and silent, few venture outdoors - without permission.

I haven’t gone out at night here, yet. I watch it through the safety of my double glazed window. When I want to sleep I have to pull the curtains tight shut and bury my head in the pillow.

I will go out at night one day and explore - but not yet; I’m not ready. It’s not the dark that scares me; it’s all the light - and the noise. It’s like stepping from a silent black and white movie into a modern Technicolor surround sound epic, I like the movies here and I watch them a lot even though I don’t understand them.